urdu jokes

  • Faida!

    A phatan joined Army & was given a Gun.
    Phatan: Sir, is ki naali apni taraf rakhun ya dushman ki taraf?
    Major: kisi bhi taraf rakh le faida mulk ka hi ho ga.
  • Bathroom

    1 Arbi Bath Room me phone pr BAT kr ra tha,PATHAN ne suna to andar jakr arbi ko boht mara, logo ne pucha to Bola. ye kameena Bath Room me TILAWAT kar rha ta.
  • Bar-e-Azam

    Teacher:
    Dunya me kitne
    Bar-e-Azam hen?
    Pathan:
    4
    Teacher:
    Kn Kn Se?
    Pathan:
    1. Quaid-e-Azam
    2. Sikandar-e-Azam
    3. Mughal-e-Azam
    Or
    4. Mera Chacha
    Haji Azam.
  • Cousin ki Shadi

    BOSS:15 din ki chuti q chahiye?
    pathan:cousin ki shadi he.
    boss:cousin ki shadi me15 din chuti q?
    pathan:cousin ki shadi mujse ho rahi he . . . .
  • Molvi aur Halwa

    1 Molvi dua mang raha tha
    kash shahadt ki moat mil jaye
    Pathan:ye nhi ho skta.
    Molvi:wo Q?
    Pathan:Jahad pe to tu ne jana nhi or halwe may ksi ne bomb rkhna nhi.
  • Bhabhi

    Pathan ne apni bhabi qatal kr di
    Police: Q ki?
    Pathan: Mere dost k pas cal aai.Wo hans hans k bat kr rha tha
    Main ne pucha kon hai?
    To bola tumhri BHABI..
  • Pathan ka Shak

    1 pathan jab b nahanay jata to darwaza khol deta..
    Kisi ne waja poochi to us ne kaha:
    “Mujhe shak hai k darwazy k neeche se mujhe koi dekhta hai”…….


    • Naswar

      PATHAN ko 1 charagh mila
      Utha kr $aaf kia to 1 Jin nikla or kaha
      apki 3 khwahishain puri karonga
      PATHAN:
      Humko aisa Naswar do jo kabi khatm na ho
      ek dum 1 naswar ka packet agya
      PATHAN ne thori si naswar nikali to utni naswar or agai
      Jin: Baqi 2 khwahishen?
      PATHAN Aisa 2 Packet or de do.
    • Pathan in Shaadi

      Shadi Me Khana K wqt pathan Ko Plate Nhi Mili
      pathan Apni Jholi Me Khana Dalne Lga
      Logon Ne Pocha Ye Kya?
      pathan: dagh To Chla JaeGa Ye Wqt Phr Nhi Ayga:-)
    • Pakistan ka Jhanda

      Teacher to pathan:
      batao Pakistan ka jhanda sub se pehle kahan lehraya gya?
      Pathan boht dair sochnay k bad bola:
      Hawa mei…. :-
    • Khubsurat Girl

      1 pathan boht der se 1 Haseen Larki ko Ghoor rha tha
      .
      Larki:
      Kya dekh rhe ho?
      .
      .
      .
      .
      Pathan:
      Hm soch rha tha k agr tm hmara AMMI hota to hm b KHOBSURAT hota.
    • Love You Baji

      Pathan Ek larki say “I love you”
      Larki: “tammeez say batt karo”
      Pathan:
      “bismilah hir rheman nir rhaem,
      With due respect I beg to state that I love you” baji.
    • I Student You

      pathan ki girlfriend ne usko message kiya “i miss u”
      .
      bohut dair sochny k baad pathan nay jawaab diya:
      “i student u”
    • Social Work

      Pathan: Yaar Mujhe logon Ne Social Work Kerne Per ßOht Maara..
      dost: SociaL Work?
      ,
      ,
      ,
      Pathan: Haan
      Mein Ne Qaßristan k Gate Pr WeLcome Ka Board Lga dia Tha


      • Bahir Ki Cheaz

        1 pathan samose khol kar ander ka masala kha raha tha.
        1 admi ne pocha pura kiun nahi khate?
        pathan bola:baba doctor ne bahir ki cheez khane se mana kia hai.!
      • Pathan Ki Qaza Namaz

        Pathan ne apni Qaza Namaz ada krny ki sochi
        Namaz se pehly unchi awaz me niyat ki
        2 rakat Namaz Qaza Fajar
        4 November 1996
        5:20 purana time.
        ALLAH O AKBAR
      • Radio aur Akhbar

        Man: Radio or Akhbar me kya farq hai?
        Pathan (bohat sochny k bad): Daikh mera bhai, baat hai samjhny wali, ab radio me Aap rotiyan tou nai la skty na.;-)
      • Molvi to Pathan

        Molvi ne Pathan se puchha
        Gusal k kitne Farz haiñ?
        Pathan. 3
        Molvi.. kon kon se?
        ?
        Pathan.
        1.sabon
        2.shampoo
        aur
        3.tolya>;-)
      • Huqooq

        Cinema main khawaateen k huqooq per film chal rahi thi.
        1khaatoon ne josh mein naara lagaya:
        aaj ki aurat kiya nahi kar sakti?
        Pathan bola road per peshaab.
      • Brazer or Bunyaan

        Brazer or Bunyaan mein kiya farq hai?
        Pathan:
        Bunyaan mein kapra ziyada or load kam hota hai.
        Brazer mein kapra kam or load ziyada hota hai<
      • Jaali Note

        Pthan Naqli note le kr surf lane shop pe gya.
        Shopkepr:
        is me Quaid-e-Azam k sr pe Topi nhi hai.
        Pthan:
        wo meli ho gai hai usi k liey to surf leney aya hun.


        • Pathan ki Zuban

          2 PATHAN bank lootne gay par GUN bhool gay.
          Phir bhi bank loot liya.
          KESE?
          Bank manager bhi PATHAN tha
          Bola GUN kal dikha jana
          Hum ko zuban ka etbar hy.
        • Quaid-e-Azam in Peshawar

          Pathan ne illegal dewar bnai
          Ksi ne kaha kuch aisa kro k dewar purani lge
          Pathan ne dewar pe likh dia
          Hum QUAID E AZAM ko peshawr any pr khush amdid khty hain.
        • Common Sense

          Pathan aur Sardar paani peenay gai, glass ulta para hua tha
          Sardar: Khan Sahab iska to moo hi band hai.
          Pathan: Haan yar yeh to neechay se b toota hua hai…
        • Pathan Baap

          Wife: Aap bohut mote ho gaye ho,
          Pathan: Tum bhi to kitni moti ho gai ho,
          Wife: Mein to maa banne wali hun,
          Pathan: Mai bhi to baap banne wala hu…
        • Adult SMS Joke

          Pathan was asked, what is a adult sms joke? Reply came any sms joke which is at least eighteen years old.
        • Al-Qaeda

          Ek Pathan Mobile Franchise Mein Job Interview K Liay Gaya
          .
          First Question K Answer Pe He Usko Maar K Bhaga Diya Gaya.
          .
          Quiz: Which Is The Most Popular Network?
          .
          .
          Pathan: Al-Qaeda
        • Pathan in P.C.O

          Pathan: P.C.O kahan hai?
          Aadmi ne ishara kar k bataya.
          Pathan P.C.O me gaya, pocket se mobile nikala or baat kr k bahir aa gaya.
          Aadmi ne poocha “jab aap k paas mobile tha to aap PCO main kyun gae”
          Pathan: Mere dost ne kaha tha k PCO se phone karo ge to paise kam lagain ge :-D

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